Feminism Tag..but Am I a feminist?

Cris has passed me the Feminism tag..No particular rules,just to write on my views on the topic..Well,this is a complicated topic and I hope my rant will do some justice on its own..Do share your views..

 

 

Feminism had always been a hot ‘n’ hate word.. I have seen people around me mock at some women “Ah, she is a feminist ”..So basically, I was seasoned to think that being a feminist is a bad choice and that being a feminist means to hate men. Lately, after having granted the badge of being an ‘adult’, I notice that whenever I make some affirmative statements about controversial subjects on women, people say “Oh,so you are a feminist! ” So now ,I have learned that being a feminist means to care for women, and I have come out of my delusion that being a feminist is not a bad choice, but that, it is a responsibility of every single women..

 

 

Feminism in itself is a broad topic, which includes various movements, theories and philosophies.. My small brain can’t process lot of theories at the present moment, so I’ll restrict myself to the small world I see around me..

 

To me, life is not about equality, but about Justice and Fairness.. I don’t think and I don’t want to become like a man..By wearing a jeans or by cutting my hair short, won’t make me ‘equal’.. What I want is justice and fairness in opportunities. I find it odd sometimes that we women want equality of pay,but still we want 3 years maternity leave..I am still to find a woman who can move the same number of bricks as a man in a definite period of time.. Men and women are different from each other and instead of outdoing each other, I think we should compliment each other..

 

 

 

Let me see what are those things that I care for and will it make me a feminist..

 

 

It is a strange fact that in India, we worship women as Goddess, but at the same time, treat them as slaves, with mere property value..The moment a baby is conceived in the womb, it is tagged a value. A baby boy  is tagged more worthy that  a baby girl. So,we have enough and more reasons to kill it inside the womb itself so that the baby doesn’t suffer once she arrives in this world..How easy solution!! More than men,I feel women are their own enemies..It is the mother, the mother in law and gang who hates to have a girl as their grand child. .Everybody wants a boy..Oh well, I have already ranted about it and the evil feminist in me prays that all those people would cry loud in their life once when their holy son don’t get a bride to marry,as to preserve their holy tradition.. I still haven’t got any logical solutions as how to dumb off the excess 3.5 crore surplus men in India..

 

 

If talking against this female infanticide is feminism, yes I am a feminist..

 

 

 

What sense does it make of me to rant on female infanticide,when the basic system of marriage itself is a messed up one..We are so obsessed with the idea of marrying a whole family, instead of marrying a guy we love..Urban societies count only to a small percentage ,and among the majority ,love marriage is still a taboo and shame..There is nothing wrong in arranged marriages, provided both parties, hell not the both families, but the guy and gal, are happy about it. .But what is the absolute percentage difference between forced and arranged marriages.. Few days back,my cousin brother put off his engagement.. Marriage proposal from a known girl’s family had been forwarded through relatives and he was pressurized by his family to agree upon the relationship.. True, nobody forced him verbally ,but the mental pressure was there..They got engaged and since then, he was all gloomy.Finally, last day he told his parents that he wants to give up the relationship as he can’t find any wavelength similarities between him and the girl..The girl was aboslutley a good one..Just that characters don’t macth,for him being an introvert and her,a social one..At the end of the day, though it was mess and shame to beak an engagement,I find it good as it would have been a disaster if they got married.. Breaking an engagement is more better than a divorce.. But remember that, in this case,the rejecting party was the boy..I wonder how much the same is feasible from a girl’s side.. Few days later ,everybody is glad that the boy made his choice..But if it was a girl,I am sure she was to be labeled a outcast,anti-cultural bla bla bla girl..Do you have a doubt? Why is it that girl’s choice/opinion is less worthy than a man’s freedom of choice?

 

 

If talking against this oppression of freedom of choice for girls alone is feminism,yes I am a feminist..

 

Not to speak of those girls who are seen as doomed ones and a shame for parents ,simply because they haven’t got married before 25 years ..No matter how much one sugarifies it,a married off girl is seen as a burden moving away..Some parents coat sugar on it saying burden of ‘responsibility’.. uh..I wonder why can’t people expect women to remain unmarried, if they choose to. Agreed that a woman is made to be  a mother, but what is an individual doesn’t like it.. Why is it that simply for the sake of society ,one is made to let go her freedom of choice.A divorcee is labeled a woman who is not good enough to ‘adjust’ and move on with life.. An unmarried women is stereotyped as a women with love-faliure or with uterus disorders..Gosh..Many among us need to get a life seriously..

 

 

If talking against this stereotyping of unmarried or divorced women is feminism,yes I am a feminist..

 

 

 

Having agreed upon marriage , may it be arranged, or love or forced, then comes the next tag, DOWRY..It is the mother in laws who are mostly greedy about dowry..I wonder why are they so obsessed about it..I have not seen any MIL using dowry for her sake,but still she wants lot of dowry for her son..Maybe , she wants to feel proud and gossip among family circle, for having paid so much for her valuable holy son..I have heard MIL’s saying “We don’t want money..But what will we say when relatives ask on how much money and gold daughter in law brought home..So if you don’t want your daughter to feel belittled, give as much as possible during marriage itself.”..Hell,don’t tell me this happened in stone ages, no it happened a month ago..I wonder why men are still not ashamed to take money from a stranger girl’s father’s pocket as to build a life for their own..I feel bad and odd for those parents who feel that without dowry,their daughter is a piece of crap. I have heard men saying “There is no problem in taking dowry, afterall,we look after your daughter for a lifeitime”.. Uh,is that a privilege???? Women cook,do laundry,do housekeeping, give you physical pleasure, give you babies, take care of your babies and your parents ,does everything without grumbling ,but with happiness and you are pricing her for all these works? If you ,(not all but some men) are so bothered about the money you spent on your wife, just take it as a salary for all the work she does..I wonder why life is all about money to some people..I need my husband,he needs me..We compliment each other..It is when we take each other for granted,that we find the other ,a burden..So,my humble request to those men who say that wife is a burden,please don’t get married..Nobody is forcing you..Indian women have enough men to choose from..Please don’t marry them for the sake of dowry and burn them later..Let them  live a life..

 

 

If talking against this burden-isation of girls is feminism, yes I am a feminist..

 

 

I was reading about literacy rates among women .According to 2001 census,female literacy rate in India is 54.16%..Much lower than male literacy rate.Many reasons are accounted for the low rate of education among females..

 

• Gender based inequality.
• Social discrimination and economic exploitation.
• Occupation of girl child in domestic chores.
• Low enrolment of girls in schools.
• Low retention rate and high dropout rate

 

 

If talking against this discrimination to these girls alone is feminism,yes I am a feminist..

 

 

Even if a girl is educated and is employed,in practical sense, I have seen very less financial freedom,if that is what is indented by empowerment through employment. I have personally seen women give the whole of their salary to husband and in rare cases,mother in law..I have no clue why they do so..i don’t mean that women needn’t spent on family.Of course they should share,and here again earning members compliment each other..But in case where husband thinks that wife’s money is his right and can be spent in whatever way he wishes to,I think that unfair and injustice to the woman involves..Not to talk of those men who think that even if the  wife is working,it is her sole duty to manage house and kids and that entering the kitchen is a shame or attack on manhood..

 

 

If talking against this restriction in financial freedom is feminism,yes I am a feminist..

 

 

 

In the arena of politics,I understand that except in Parliament, women have 3% reservation in seats..But what is the rate of women who exercise this right EFFICENTLY and EFFECTIVELY? I have seen many Panchayat members, females acting as dummies for their huband. He is puling strings and she is just acting like a puppet. So, what is the whole intention of political empowerment all about?

 

 

If talking against this mockery of political freedom is feminism,yes I am a feminist..

 

 

 

Religiously and spiritually speaking, I wonder why God is more obsessed with men, though it is women who prays more and does rituals for His sake. Women can’t enter some temples and many mosques.. They can’t perform rituals..Arabs and other muslims don’t believe me when I say that women are not allowed to pray in mosques in majority places in India..They never heard of such a thing..Its just some holy men here who want to keep women out of as much places as possible..Let people decide themselves whether they want to enter the temple or masjid..Why do we want to act moral policie even within the premises of God’s house..

 

 

If talking against this moral policing of religious freedom is feminism,yes I am a feminist..

 

 

Gosh,this is such a long post..I hope atleast a few people will read it in complete.. What we need is freedom from ourselves and the first step is to be financially independent and then from cultural restrictions..Culture in itself is beautiful,it makes life worthwhile and personalized ..But some stone age aspects as like ‘womanhood is in housekeeping and child bearing” and that ‘working woman is not a complete women as she pays less attention to family and house’ ,’boy is more holier than girl’ etc etc etc are simply stereotypes and its high time we get rid of all those things..

 

 

 

These are my thoughts on feminism..With this post,I will be taking a break from the world of blogging..Life is taking a turn and we are not very sure of which road we are heading upon..I hope everything ends up well soon and do include me in your prayers..I thank all of you for your kind and generous support and encouragement..I have learned lot and I have met some great people through my e-life..I don’t know how have you perceived my thoughts,but I never meant to be communal or biased..My apologies for all those hurtful words I said.I wish you all happiness and success in life..Good day..Peace.

Stoning to death-How and Why is it a part of Islam?

 

Recently,we all read about a Somalian women being stoned to death for committing adultery..There are two versions of the same story..BBC says :

 

“Our sister Aisha,23 yr old, asked the Islamic Sharia court in Kismayo to be charged and punished for the crime she committed,” local Islamist leader Sheikh Hayakallah told the crowd.”She admitted in front of the court to engaging in adulterous sexual intercourse,” he added.”She was asked several times to review her confession but she stressed that she wanted Sharia law and the deserved punishment to apply.”

The other story follows..

`She ,13 yr old,had in fact been raped by three men and had attempted to report this rape to the al-Shabaab militia, which controls Kismayo,” Amnesty said. “It was this act that resulted in her being accused of adultery and detained. None of the men she accused of rape was arrested.”

 

I don’t know which story should I choose to believe..Whatever,that’s not of much concern to me,but the concept of stoning is indeed disturbing..I am trying to share my thoughts and findings ,that will help understand the whole framework..

 

Quran has 6236 verses,and there is no single verse about stoning..Interestingly,Allah talks about almost all aspects of life,from macro to micro concepts, and puts forward a way of life..Having said that,I find it hard to believe that Allah forgot to put the stoning verse into Quran,and hence,some men,who are more smarter than God himself,injected the concept of stoning into Islam..

 

In Islam,punishment for forcination/zina is 100 lashes

•  24.02  The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.

 

And for slave women,it is half the number of lashes

• 4:25  “…They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that ye practise self-restraint. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful”

If stoning to death was the ‘real’ punishment,how can stoning to death be halved as said in this verse???

 

Punishment for Prophet’s wives ,if they committed adultery,is :

• 33.30   O ye wives of the Prophet! Whosoever of you committeth manifest lewdness, the punishment for her will be doubled, and that is easy for Allah.

 

Adultery is a serious crime and a judge cannot simply punish the person,unless four witnesses provide proof against him/her.And even if proved guilty, the punishment is to confine them to houses..
004.015 If any of your women are guilty of lewdness, Take the evidence of four (Reliable) witnesses from amongst you against them; and if they testify, confine them to houses until death do claim them, or Allah ordain for them some (other) way.
 

Again,Allah talks about life ahead of adulterers,after punishement(lashes)

• 24.03  Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry and but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden

How can this happen if culprits are already stoned to death ???

 

Allah talks about repentance in a large amount of verses..

•  009.102 And others have confessed their faults, they have mingled a good deed and an evil one; (perhaps) Allah will turn to them (mercifully); surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
• 09.104        Do they not know that Allah accepts repentance from His servants and takes the alms, and that Allah is the Oft-returning (to mercy), the Merciful?
• 039.053 Say: “O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

 

The whole story of Stoning to death is attributed to a hadith(saying of Prophet)..Hadiths were written 200 years after Prophet’s death and it all narrations from people closely linked to Prophet..Some are true, some are fabrications.. Hadiths are largely influenced by social, political and cultural environmental factors then.. Allah promised to guard Quran and not Hadiths.. Quran is definite, while Hadiths are probable.. There is no way that a hadiths can override a Quranic law.. If it does, as in case of stoning adulterers and killing apostates, it can be easily understood that it is man made invention and thereby injected into Sharia.. Interestingly, all those anti human rights laws in Sharia have their origin in hadiths.. And that sends some message out to those sensible people..The concept of stoning has its origin in bibilical times and is in Torah..Prophet prescribed to the same rules of Torah,until allah sent down the above said punishment rules for adultery.I don’t really understand why is that some muslims still want to cling to rules in Torah..

 

The Messenger of Allah came to “Explain” and “interpret” the Quran.. He didn’t came to set different rules or change its legislation.. So how come the Quran say “Lash” and the Prophet say: “Stone”!!!  Those who claim that the prophet ordered to stone are attributing to the prophet the crime of “Disobedience of Allah”.. And I wonder why would those Muslims follow a disobedient Prophet ???

 

And in a very strong Hadith, we find the Prophet sending Moa’z Ibn Jabal to be a judge in Yemen and asking him:

“How would you decide”? Moaz said: “The Quran”, the Prophet said: “And if you didn’t find?” Moaz Said: “The Sunna” He said: “And if you didn’t find?” Moaz said: “My Ijtihad and opinion”.. The Prophet said: “Well said.. If your opinion is right, you get double the reward.. And if it’s wrong, you get one reward”…

So Moaz was ordered by the prophet to see in The Quran first and use its legislation…And If ,ONLY IF,if he didn’t find it in Quran, then the Sunnah(Prophet’s doings)….

 

Open the Quran and check if you find any law regarding adultery..Then why would you look elsewhere..Trying to be more smarter than the God himself uh?

 

And finally,I wonder why muslims don’t come forward to talk against this barbarous act,which has no base in true Islam..Whom are they afraid of?

 

 

 

 

P.S

A strong hadith Narrated by Tabari on the authority of Abu Hurayrah who said: “One night when I returned from the Prophet’s Mosque after offering Isha Prayers, I saw a woman standing outside my door. I said ‘Peace be on you’ and went into my room, closed the door, and began to offer nafl (supererogatory) Prayers.  After some time, she knocked at the door. I opened the door and asked her what she wanted.  ‘I have come to ask you a question. I committed adultery and became pregnant.  Then a baby was born and I killed him. How I have come to ask you if there is any chance that my sin be forgiven?’  I said: ‘Absolutely not’.  At this she went away grief-stricken, exclaiming: ‘Alas, this piece of beauty was created for the Hell-fire.’

 

“The next day, after the Fajr prayers, I narrated the whole incident to the Prophet (peace be on him).  He said: ‘How wrong an answer you gave, O Abu Hurayrah!  Have you not read those verses in the Quran:

 “Those who invoke no other deity along with Allah nor take the life which Allah has forbidden – save justly; who do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse – and whoso does that shall meet its penalty, his torment shall be doubled for him on the Day of Resurrection and he shall abide in it in ignominy – unless he who repents and believes and does righteous works.  For such Allah will change their evil deeds to good deeds.  Allah is Ever Forgiving, Most Compassionate.  Whosoever repents and does good, he returns to Allah in the manner he should” (Al-Furqan 25:68-70). 

Upon hearing this answer from the Prophet (Peace be on him), I went out and searched for the woman.  I met her after Isha Prayers and told her what the Prophet (peace be on him) had said.  She prostrated herself and said, ‘Thanks be to God, Who has opened the door of forgiveness for me.’ Then she repented and freed a female slave and also the son of that slave.” (See Tabari, ‘Tafsir’, comments on Surah al-Furqan 25:68-70 Ed.)

 

 

“He is a wise man today if he has learned from yesterday’s posts/mistakes..”

My last post was a haste ‘n’ waste one .But there were lot of thoughful commenst,so I just wanted to bring your attention to a few of them..Some thoughts on ‘the moral of the story”.

 

 

 

Eccentric says:

 

When ever some one (specially any religious leader) tell some thing about islam ask him to give u source from Quran only. if its written in Quran then its ok……….but if not then its man made laws not God’s.

 

Exactly..I wish everybody-every muslim and non muslim-takes this approach of asking the concerned person to quote Quran verse backing his claim/statement.If we do that,I am sure,in very short time,people like this will stop themselves from making random rants to appear as Islamic..The same goes for stuff like Triple Talaq which have no base in Quran or Hadith..Its all man made women oppressive laws..

 

Kislay Chandra says :

 

Nimmy , Ruchjat says that “in the society the number of women are more than men” , and you didn’t gave a reply befitting that . Where the hell in this country except Kerala are there more women than men . I would like to know of such a society , and would do every damn thing to get there , cause the skewed up sex-ratio sometimes make me wonder whether I will get married or not . Not kidding . 7 crore surplus men , am I one of them ?

 

Kislay,according to UN reports,as per 2000,there are 115 countries with skewed sex ratios,where there are more number of females,than males..Only <50 or so countries have sex ratios with more males and there are few countries with almost equal number of males and females ..What would these single surplus women in those 115 countries do?I don’t know..

Indianhomemaker says:

Also Nimmy if women firmly insist on an empowering Nikahnama, like I have mentioned in the link below, they can protect themselves. If a man refuses to accept it, there is every chance that he wants to keep open, the option of marrying again.

IHM,unless we have a mandatory standardized pre nupital contract,it is not going to happen anyday as people would find it odd to start a relationship based on contract statements..Unless it becomes a way of life,not many will/can insit on it..

 

Milind Kher says:

A community that does not respect its women cannot prosper.

So true,so sad..

Manoj says:

Religion is one’s convenience. may be muslims are the only ones didn’t go through social reforms in india. inheritance on property, marriage act, adoption… there are many areas i suggest muslims should go through reforms.

 Your comment has lot of message within..Indian muslims have to come forward in lot of areas ,especially education..But I musy say that except for a marginal number,we are in harmony with the multicultural enviornment in our nation-I mean,in religious sense..I haven’t seen the ‘holier than thou’ attitude in majority of the community..To me,that makes more sense than reform needs in personal laws..

 

Maha says:

The man can have his own opinion, that’s his right; but he has NO RIGHT to make up reasons like that and then claim that they are part of Islam; when he does, it just shows that he is either ignorant, biased, follows his own desires or he is one of those وعاظ السلاطين

Sorry,I don’t understand what is it that you wrote in Arabic..Your comment may be the best of all..He has no right to portray his personal opinion as though from Allah…

 

And finally,

 

Salil says

Hi Nimmy,
As usual, my suggested response is ignore it.
One should not argue or react to stupid comments, for the sheer reason that logic fails in such situations.
Ignore it, get amused by it, laugh at it.
Cheers,

True..I should have just left it that way..But then again,after getting lot of comments, I feel that my rant was useful,well atleast to a handful, so that they would know that there is no such thing like this in Islam.

 

Thanks and Good day to all

 

 

 

How do I make his beard catch fire?

This is a waste post and if you are busy,please don’t waste your time reading this..

 

Yesterday,I watched a report on TV ,regarding muslim women’s condition-especially in northern kerala ,nicknamed as ‘Malabar’…To keep my holy rant short,I heard a ‘powerful Sunni cleric’ AP Kanthapuram Abubaker Musliyar ranting something very ‘interesting’..When asked by the journalist,regarding polygamy in Islam,my retina and ear drums blasted out watching his ignorance and arrogance parade..He says,men can do polygamy because women will be ‘out of service’ during 7-10 or even 15 days during a month and that is a very good reason for men to get another wife so that he needn’t go to a prostitute..What the hell…I pinched myself to make sure I was not dreaming.Then I looked into calender and made sure that time machine didn’t take me centuries back,in a matter of few minutes..It  was 5/11/08 and  10.15 pm and I am watching this’holy’ man’s rant in a worldwide telecasted news channel…What time has come oh Lord..

 

I pray his white long beard cathes fire and his turban is freezed to -423423 celsius and he be made to sit on hot plate with 32356 celsius temperature ,until he apologize to all women out  here for having made such an ‘holy’ comment..I wonder how many wives does he have and I wonder what will he do if all his wives get periods on same day..yuck yuck yuck.What is disgusting piece of creation Lord has made..Oh yeah,I am not a great person.But atleast I don’t vomit such crap.I am so angry .I know I am overreacting,but I can’t get over it until or unless I shout at him ths way..

What is your comment on this comment?

Firstly, it doesn’t matter how many Muslims there are in India – they are only 12% of the Indian population…India is a Hindu majority country and NOT a Muslim majority country and I don’t think that Muslims should forget that they were all SUPPOSED to leave India in 1947. Muslims are living in India as a matter of priviledge and NOT as a matter of right. India is a nation that was born out of a partition which took place so that its Muslims could have their own country in the form of Pakistan and Bangladesh. So what moral right Muslims have to call themselves “Indian” needs to be highly questioned.

Secondly, there are Indian farmers who are so poor that they are committing suicide every day. There are Indians who are so poor that they are being forced to live on rat meat. There are female babies and female infants that are being killed every day because their parents think it is economic burden to have a girl….There are countless other problems and issues that India is having…All along we have a government which is giving money to its (unwanted) Muslims so that they can go on holiday to Saudi Arabia…That is just Plain SICK!

This is a comment I got fot the Hajj Subsidy post..Sorry for not specifying that..

Thank you all for your comments.Since both me and my  keyboard are sick,I’ll reply later..On-screen keybord sucks.Please bear with me Good day..Peace.