60 ways to keep your husband happy-post revised…

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” If a woman needs to purposely do all this to keep her husband’s love, I think both of them are better of not being married “

End of dicussion..

 

 

p.s:Thanks Bhagwad…

 

 

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How about this one???

60 Ways To Keep Your Wife’s Love

1. Make her feel secure. Allow her to feel the sakeena.
2. Greet her with “As-salaamu-alaikum wa rahmatullah” – this will keep the shaytan out of your home
3. Know your wife is fragile a whistle – take care of this whistle (i.e. treat her in a gentle way)
4. Advice her in privacy and during a loving, romantic and/or peaceful atmosphere
5. Be generous to your wife
6. Give her your space/seat
7. Avoid anger – one way is to keep wudhu at all times, another is to sit down or lie down when angry
8. Looking good, smelling great
9. Dont be rigid or you may get be broken – be good and be flexible
10. Be a good listener
11. Say Yes to flattery, No to arguments
12. Call your wife with the best of names
13. Give her pleasant surprises
14. Preserve the tongue (i.e. don’t say abusive words since some words take years to wipe out)
15. Accept her shortcomings
16. Show her that you appreciate her
17. Encourage her to keep her kin relationships, especially with her mother and father
18. Pick topics of her interest during conversations
19. Show that she is a wonderful wife in front of her relatives (and friends)
20. Give her gifts anytime
21. Get rid of the “rust” (routine of life) once in a while
22. Think good of your wife
23. Overlook any small words or actions that you did not like (i.e. dont save it in your memory)
24. Add a drop of patience every day. Increase this patience during pregnancy and monthly cycle
25. Expect and respect her jealousy
26. Be humble – know that her success at home is your success
27. Dont make your friends happy in lieu of your wife’s happiness
28. Help with housework
29. Dont try to force your wife to love your mother. Help her to respect your mother and father and gradually the love will come
30. Make her feel that she is an ‘ideal’ wife
31. Remember your wife in your du’a
32. Leave the past to Allah (SWT) i.e. don’t dig up past issues.
33. Dont show that you are doing a favor when you do something (e.g. bring food home etc.). Know that Allah (SWT) is the provider and your are only a courier
34. Treat the Shaytan (and not your wife) as your enemy. e.g. when an argument break out know that present is you, your wife and shaytan.
35. Feed your wife with your hands – this is a blessing
36. Look at your wife as a “precious pearl” – so protect her from the envy of the shayateen
37. Show her your “pearls” (smiles) – smiling is like giving a charity
38. Deal with the little things/problems immediately before it becomes a big issues
39. Dont’t be hard or harsh-hearted
40. Respect her thinking and thought
41. Help her to dig within herself to find success
42. Respect the boundries of the intimate relationship
43. Help her take care of your children
44. Give her the gifts of the tongue
45. Sit down and eat meals together with your wife
46. Let her know when you are travelling and the date and time you are coming back (i.e. no surprises)
47. Don’t leave your home to avoid an argument
48. Protect the secrecy and privacy of your home – don’t share it with others
49. Encourage each other in worshiping Allah (SWT) – e.g. prayers, attend lectures, plan to hajj or umrah trip together
50. Know her rights and treat it as something that is engraved in your heart and conscious
51. Live with them with kindness – treat your wife with goodness in prosperity and adversity
52. “Send a messenger” before any intimite relationship (i.e. kissing and sweet words)
53. Don’t share your family problems with others (except when seeking genuine islamic advice)
54. Show that you care for her health
55. Know that you have shortcoming and are not always right
56. Share your happiness and sadness with your wife
57. Have mercy on her weakness
58. Be the “comfortable chest” for her and allow her to lean on you
59. Accept her “as-is”
60. Have a good intention (niyaah) for your wife at all the times

Remember my old post.. How to be a better wife- Do’s and Don’t’s

60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love ..

Got this as a foward mail..Bored people alone need go through the post,as some of the ponits are good while some are utter crap…Don’t throw stones at me,for I didn’t write this

60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love

 1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!

2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.

 3. Smell good!

4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.

 5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”

6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.

7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:

8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

 9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights

10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.

 11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.

12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.

 13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.

14. Call his family often.

15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.

16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested

. 17. Encourage him to do good deeds.

 18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.

19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.

 20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet.You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.

 21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.

 22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.

 23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.

 24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really

 25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.

 26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.

 27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.

 28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.

29. Learn to make his favorite dish.

30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.

 31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.

32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.

33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]

34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha, radiallahu anha, narrated that the Prophet , salallahu alaihi wasalaam, used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”

35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.

36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.

 37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.

 38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.

39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.

40. Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.

41. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

 42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.

 43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.

44. Brush your hair, everyday.

45. Don’t forget to do laundry.

46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.

47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)

 48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies

49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.

50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.

51. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)

52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).

 53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction

. 54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.

 55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.

56. Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)

57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!

 58. Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.

 59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel

 60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

 

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heeee hee,how many of you read this in complete???

..of Cricket and of degrading the remaning sportstars

India’s golden girl PT Usha burst into tears on Monday. Usha, who came for 49th National Open Athletics Championship in Bhopal, was unhappy with the accommodation provided to her by the organisers. When the former track queen asked for better accommodation, she was refused by the officials. As a result of that Usha broke down into tears in front of the media.

Regarded as queen of Indian track and field, P. T. Usha has been associated with Indian athletics since 1979. She is one of the greatest athletes India has ever produced.. She became the first Indian woman (and the fifth Indian) to reach the final of an Olympic event by winning her 400 m hurdles Semi-final. In the 1984 Los Angeles OlympicsUsha lost the bronze by 1/100th of a second.

PT Usha said that if this happens to her then its quite imaginable what happens to the other struggling athletes, she also said that this is the only reason why parents don’t want their children to join athletics. Athletes in India are deprived of proper accommodation, proper training facilities, proper income and proper importance.

Usha is one among the prominent ones who took India’s name to heights ,in the field of athletic ,and the other one being Milkhs Singh.If not for Usha,India would have been one among the Golden-zero nations,in various international meets.Today,rather than sitting back and dreaming about her past records,she is busy working , moulding new athletes ,and runs a sports school “ Usha School of Athletics”.. And as a nation,what have we given her in return? Oh yes,I am not generalizing a particular incident,nor am I trying to idolize Usha. But am I wrong if I say that except for cricketers,no other WORTHY sportsman is given due credit in India. Well,name Sania Mirza..But she would not have been perceived this way if she was dusky and less pretty.People (majority) adored her for her beauty and not her sportsman skills.Am I wrong? Those who didn’t know ABCD of tennis too were her hard-core fans..So forget such handpicked sports-men/women,I would say that except for cricket,no other players received their due credit.

Heard about Milka Singh-the flying sikh? Hear him when he rejected the Arjuna award “I am not going to take this award because this award is not fit for a life time achievment. I have already written to Ms Bharti that after 40 years she thought of giving me this award. I am honoured and grateful to them but this is not the time to give me this award. It would have been alright if I had got this award forty years ago.” [source] Its ironic that Arjuna Award was started in 1961,the very next year when Milkha Singh achieved fourth place in Rome Olympics.Its funny that India took 40 long years to give an athlete his due credit (He is a recipient of Padma Shri)

Ever heard of Indian Football Team that made entry into Olympics semi-final (for the first and last time) ? Chances are few,as people are busy watching cricket and drooling over their idols. Let me tell you how India rewarded them for their achievement..

New Delhi, September 1, 2009 “ Surviving members of the Indian football team that reached the semifinals of the 1956 Melbourne Olympics have decided to return a monetary grant sent by the All India Football Federation (AIFF).

Samar (Bardu) Banerjee, the captain of the team, conveyed the decision here on Tuesday. “Nine of the 18 member squad who are surviving felt humiliated by the unsolicited grant of Rs. 25,000 sent by the AIFF,” said Banerjee.

“We are not beggars that the national federation would be doling out a pitiful grant 53 years after our achievement,” he added[source]

Is this the way we are to treat those people who brought fame to our motherland?

 

p.s: I am not into the typical “blame it on cricket”.. But tell me who else is to be blamed?Blame it on media,blame it on government,blame it on the mass..whatever…But its sad and bad that we are doing this to people who work hard and reach heights,but are trashed at their own homeland where they ought to be appreciated and credited..

..Of girls’s education and marrying off them early….

This post is purely fictional and bears no resemblence with any characters dead or alive..

 

Last day,somebody told me so and so…

 

A: Girls should be married off by the age of 18-19..

Me:Err,isn’t that too early ..

A:Early? not at all..Bcoz by 20+,they will start making their own choices and will have own opinions

Me :So?

A: So? So ,parents should marry off girls before they start having firm opinions and start making decisions for themselves

Me :But isn’t it their life? Moroever,when we marry off them too early,how can they complete their eductaion?How can they have their career?

A: Ha,what is the need for girls to have so much education.The role of women in a society to make a good family and bring up kids in a good way .

Me :Of course that too is important,but it amazes me that a 21st century human being is saying that girls needn’t have much education..

A:All this ‘men-women equality and stuff is bullshit. Women cannot be equal to men.

Me:I never said that they are equal..Both are different on their own ways,but that doens’t mean that they weigh different in the balance of nature

A:Let me tell you an eg. Last day,there was an accident nearby,when a lady bumped into a sccooter-wala and he died..The lady was admitted to mental hospital for weeks..Have you ever heard of a man being mentally unstable just because he met with an accident?you women are silly and emotionally weak ,and let me remind you,they are physically weak since ages..

Me :You are generalizing,thatz not fair..

A:Ok,let me tell you something.What if I sent my daughter to study medicine.Obviously,by the time she passes out,she will be 24 yrs and so,and she will not accept proposals from any men on a lower grade than doctors themselves.

Me :whatz wrong in that? Its fine that a Doctor is looking out for a Doctor..

A:Its ok with her,but not for me,as I have find Crores of money for her dowry.

Me :Look out for boys who don’t ask dowry.

A:Such people exist only in theory.In pracitise,all people ask for dowry,and when it comes to higher grade boys ,as like Doctors,they ask for loads of gold and money..So tell me,should I let my daughter become a doctor and finally spoil my life in the name of her dowry,or should i marry off her to an average man,at the age mentioned earlier,when she is not so firm in her choices and opinions..On another note,there is no need for lady doctors..

Me: **faints** What??”No need for lady doctors”..

A::Yes,tell me what is the problem if there are male doctors alone? Afterall women are weak enough not to enter areas like surgery and such complicated stuff..Tell me how many efficent female surgeons and anesthesists have you seen or heard?

Me: Well,are you saying that there needn’t be female gynecologists too?A:Thats the only area where women can empathize with fellow patients..But even in that field,there isn’t a compulsory need. Labour and Cecarian will be fine in men’s hands too

Me : **girns** not knowing what to say..

A: coming back to the topic,i still stand by what i said,” Girls needn’t study much and should be married off early”..

Me :Err,this is complicated..But it is wrong that you dump her into somebody’s head even when she is immature to undertstand right and wrong in life..Moreover,if she is educated,if some problee happens in marriage life,she can stand in her own,instead of running back and crying in front of parents.

A:You are wrong.In real time,it is the educated girls who come back to families,while the other end girls move on with their life,rather than shouting for divorce and such.

Me :So,in the end,it is your happiness and not your daughter’s happiness that matters.. Ok fine,marry off your girl at 18,so that she will always be unable to resist the injustice that may happen and let her be a door mat..**sigh**

A::You are wrong,good girls will find happiness where they go..

Me : I am glad I met you ..goodbye..

 

Moral of the story on’t argue with people who have pre-conceived notions..You will end up being labelled arrogant and outspoken…

p.s “Please do not criticize the person and say anything bad about her/him,as I don’t intend to hurt the person..But her/his thoughts are surely worth discussion,aren’t they?

Blogging and Me….

Its been a while sicne I have been engaging myself as a part of Blog Samaj…I started blogging as an experiment,to know more of what this thing called ‘blogging’ is all about and yes,my dearo Cris is my inspiration..My first post was published on 2008/06/24..For some reasons,I didn’t have my ‘anniversary post,so today I thought of having one

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When I started it on June 24th,2008,I never thought that I would evolve into the type of blogger ,the type of person,I am today.Many people have influenced me and I am thankful to them for making me the person I am today..Lot of reading,lot of views,lot of opinions,it was all a new world for me..I do not want to name them,for i am afraid if I would miss out any of my dear one.. So,no listing out names..Dear all,I am thankful to you all for reading my blog and haring your thoughts,for all of you have helped me refine my knowledge,my opinions,my views and above all,you made me read more and opend up my heart and mind to have opinions,no matter how silly they are.I can’t belive that I explored lot of reliigous stuff,for i am not at all a religious person..Yes,I love my God,but I am not that stedfast in following daily rituals. you ahve opened up the world of spirituality for me. I am thankful to you all,and one person in particular,for digging out the feminist in me. I am all for femininity,but yes,feminism -speaking up for women-is no longer a bad word for me.You made me realize that ‘She didn’t ask for it’.. OOps,i am ranting

A bigggggg hug to all of you You guys make my life beautiful…

 

Ok,now your turn,tell me how was I,as a person,as an individual,throughout the blogging journey..Afterall,its you who made me the person I am…Of course I am expecting nice words from you ,but ,I would like to know how can I improve myself as an individual and as a blogger..So my negative points are more welcome…

 

 

p.s: I am afraid if I sound like a ‘big’ Lady ..lol,I am just a petty women,but still, I am proud of what I am.