How do we program the baby machine to output baby boys alone?

Numerous scientific studies being conducted worldwide today link a mother’s diet to the sex of the child. These studies talk about high calorie diets that ‘boost’ chances of a baby boy; mete out advice for wannabe mums: cereals for a boy, diet for a girl! Are we still obsessed with having a male child?

 

They reflect the age-old desire, rather, obsession, for the male child not only in India but in the West too. Yes, astonishing as it may sound, an increasing number of studies are being conducted worldwide that advise mothers-to-be on diets and practices to be followed for a baby boy. (more..)

 

Yeah,again an age old topic which has been talked about again and again and again..But when I read this article yesterday,some interesting points kept bothering me..

A glimpse at the census figures shows a dwindling sex ratio in the country. The number of girls for every 1,000 boys in India has fallen to 927 in 2001 from 962 in 1981. In some states the men have to look elsewhere for brides.

 

In India, we have many reasons for this Boy-syndrome.The practice is particularly difficult to stop because families’ preference for boys has deep cultural roots: Boys don’t require dowries, they stay home after they get married, and they’re allowed to light their parents’ funeral pyres..When boys ‘repay’ the resources the take up till adulhood  and as they stay back and look after the parents during their old age..So basically,producing a boy is a long term investment.Wheres all resources spent on a girl is a profitable investment..Moreover,one needs to spent hell lot of money in the form of dowry..So obviously,having a boy is a double bonaza-he puts in his own money and brings money from somebody else’s purse too.Another factor,male child helps retain family name for long and long and long.Once you have a boy,you are relieved and you pass on the burden of passing the baton onto his shoulders..

 

Around me, I have seen many instances,where the lady doesn’t want a third kid,but people around her,sick syndrome people around her,force her to have a third baby..WHY?Because she is ‘infortunate’ to have two daughters,and hence she SHOULD try a ‘better’ luck third time..If she have a daughter again,she is doomed for ever,especially if in a joint family..I still remember people,especially women folks,sighing and ranting “Oh,poor she..Girl again”..When I phoned them to congratulate on birth of baby,many of them were like mourning..What the hell…I felt really bad,for I am too to hear this phase if I am ‘doomed’ to have girls alone.This happened in a urban society,so it will be great if we don’t make comments as “This happens is rural areas only”..The more urbanized,the more female unfriendly it becomes..The least number of females happen to be in Delhi and Mumbai(refer source)..Are they rural undeveloped,uneducated areas?

 

Many of them tell me things will change in course of time..I don’t see anything changing..Oh yeah,its changing,in the reverse direction..More educated the girl is,the more dowry she ought to pay..Dowry is an evil that exists due to WOMEN themselves..Many girls eye on more gold and money given by father during wedding..I always felt ashamed to take so much of gold and money from my father..As a parent,he has done his duties well by educating me and providing me a good environment to grow mentally and healthy..Once I am an adult,it is my turn to work and make money myself,if it matters.Leaving aside the rant,girls even today just add a extra expenditure on to the family.So again,boys are preferred.

 

Let us not talk about female infanticide,those jelly blob that go down the drain..I gulped that rant..Maybe women themselves do it as to avoided being ‘doomed’ as referred to above..

 

We are so bothered about preserving our culture..We need boys to light our dead body,and thus go to heaven.As far as I now,both Hindus and Muslims don’t permit girls to take part in funeral (Muslims women can’t go to masjid,where the body is buried,Hindu women can’t light the fire right?)So,for our after-life serenity,which daughter can’t contribute to,we prefer boys..

 

Having ranted all this,let’s look into how long this baton of extending culture and family name for long and long will happen in practical sense..According to 2001 census,except in Kerala(wow!),for every 1000 males,there are lesser females..Look into the source for details.. As per 2001,we have 933 women for 1000 men.What do you think these 67 men in 1000 will do?We have a ‘small’ population of 1,027,015,247

·       Males          531,277,078
Females      495,738,169

 

So,what do you think these surplus 3,55,38,909 men will do?That isn’t a ‘negligibly small’ number,is it?

 

Assuming that 50 lakh men out of 3.5 crore will turn saints,let us talk about rest of 3 crore alone..

 

People still go out of the country in search of jobs..Let us assume that 1 crore men from the rest will marry women from those foreign places,don’t blame them..They have no balance brides here in India..So,that makes 1 crore foreign daughter-in-laws integrated to so-called precious culture of our nation ..Some of  these males born out of baby boy-syndrome may fall in this category and I am glad that their add value to their parents cultural roots..I am not being too optimistic ,but i hope we’ll have as many as possible cultural cross connection as to add value to our those parents culture. 🙄

 

Ok,now deal with 2 crore men..They are too narrow minded to marry out of race and they can’t become saints either..What do you think these 2 crore men will do..?I am waiting for my dear readers to give me an answer..

 

 

 

P.S:

I hope people will realize some day that it is not the sex,but the health and long life of new born baby that matters..**sigh***

 

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  1. With a bit of luck, and education, the ‘western’ philosophy of equal value of the sexes will work it’s way into Indian culture.

  2. Enjoyed reading your post Nimmy! You bring a fresh perspective to it all!

  3. Nimmy, you have done an excellent job of breathing a fresh perspective onto some dry and very disturbing statistics. Thank you for adding explanations of culture and personalising the whole thing with your own much-appreciated opinion.

    Keep up the good work.

    Have you considered becoming a journalist?

  4. hmmm…
    ok options for the 2 crores:

    have gay marriages
    make more war so that many of them die of leaving a few who can share the women amongst them
    Become Pandavs one wife for every five males (poor woman)

    very nice post. Keep up the good work.

  5. I agree with Pinku’s answers. Also we see more crime when these guys have no women… Read this heart rending story of a thirteen year old, here,

    http://mindflirting.wordpress.com/2008/08/07/draupadi/

    • Nimmy
    • October 16th, 2008

    Thanks you Ebaby Your website has lot of cute baby items..:)

    Thanks Nita ..Its a honour to hear such words from a person like you 🙂

    Sagarone,thanks for dropping in..The image is disturbing 😦

    Pink..Thanks 🙂 lol..i don’t write well..just started fighting with words..

    • Nimmy
    • October 16th, 2008

    @Pinku..hmm..rightly said..As IHM said,these guys will move around preying on thier ladies..and we will have a pathetic society..I hope people realize that girls are as ‘good’ as boys..

    Thanks IHM ..The story you gave is depressing and disturbing 😦

  6. What gets my goat is that how can these desperate idiots craving a male child so conveniently forget about the simple fact there has to be a (almost)1:1 ratio between males and females . Forget those who can barely read, when you come across educated morons going berserk for a “son” , it makes you wonder what exactly did the study in their high school biology class . What about the balance of nature ? In India males outnumber females by a ratio of 1.06 . That is 6 out of 100 . That is 12 men without a partner (theoretically) . These numbers should be splashed around all over the country to knock some sense into the knuckleheads preferring a male child .

    @Nimmy

    You say that people should realize that girls are as good as boys . Why “as good as” ? There are certain things at which a female is way better than a man , and vice-versa . I do not see the point of comparing guys and gals . I mean, we are different in certain respects , so why can’t we accept that . And if there are certain fields where the generally accepted belief is that men do better , Physics or Mathematics for instance , it is because of the centuries of conditioning .

    Damn those bloody fools who are disrupting the natural order !

  7. Have you watched Manish Jha’s movie: Matrubhoomi: story of only one woman in the country..

    Watch it. I can’t fathom when educated folks behave this way, rejecting a girl child. I don’t understand why well-off parents still ask for dowry? If educated fols are not making change in their own life, it is kind of doomed cause. 😦

    • Nimmy
    • October 17th, 2008

    Kislay..great reply..

    I pray that all those boys born out of boy-syndrome don’t get brides..I know i am cruel saying this,bcoz it is not their fault..But how else can we teach these parents a moral lesson??

    Yes,i put words wrongly…I am not a feminist but an advocate of femeninity..Women and men are different and there is not equality of sex,but just balancing of different tasks….

    Thanks for commenting..Sicne the day posted,this post has about 124 or so visits but jsut a handful comments.I guess the post hit the nail..

    • Nimmy
    • October 17th, 2008

    Hi Poonam ..Welcome 🙂 Thanks for the information.Will try to watch the movie..Keep coming..

  8. Thanks , and Great Post ! And why can’t you be a feminist ? When we have male-chauvinist-pigs , there ought to be a feminist for every one of those fools around .

    • Nimmy
    • October 17th, 2008

    lol..I just feel like sharing an incident that happenend today afternnon..We had a few guests in my home..few of them my husband’s side relatives..When they were about to levae after food,i said ” Next time you come,bring wife and kid too “He replied immediately “Oh,you don’t see me sitting in peace even for a while “..The very next moment,i asked “Why did you marry then” ..lol..i can’t ever forget the 1 million dollar expression on faces of all sitting there..After a few seconds of silence,he asked “Are you a feminist”..lol..oh my god..i found it very hard to control my laugh.. see them equating a woman to a feminist the very moment a sane question was asked…

    It is a blunt fact that men don’t expect women to talk back..Maybe he’ll tell my relatives that i am outspoken or arrogant..But i am gald bcoz the next time he makes this joke of ‘peace without wife’,he’ll think 3-4 times..lol..Before he went,he came to me and said “pls don’t tell this to my wife”..oh my god,my stomach is paining laughing..I am so happy 😉

  9. Nice . You kicked ass . “It is a blunt fact that men don’t expect women to talk back” , that is sad , yes, but what is sadder that many women themselves instill the same in their daughters , making sure that as a woman , they should be well aware of their status , and do NOT overstep the boundaries of “maan and maryada” . It is a long road ahead , is all I have to say .

  10. On a side note , I mis-calculated the number of men who won’t have partners . It just struck me , that the numbers you mentioned are earth-shattering . A shiver just ran down my spine as I tried to contemplate the disturbing meaning implied . God save the “motherland” , or if things are the way they are , we have another “matrubhoomi” at our hands .

  11. @Kislay Chandra I have not noticed any guys on the net actually suggesting a woman call herself a Feminist. Most men seem to think Feminism means men-bashing, many women think so too. But the truth is Feminism is simply equality for all the genders, including women. Hats off to you :))

    @Nimmy Equality does not mean being like men at all, though it does mean freedom from stereotype roles, so if a woman does want to do something only men had been doing so far, like become an astronaut, or a civil engineer or a truck driver, or in some places even acquire education.
    Copying men’s clothing or style is not feminism (though there is nothing wrong with doing that) because being EQUAL is not IMITATING.
    Feminism just means justice and equality for women. Alankrita wrote an article called ‘Feminism is not a dirty word’, which I found really nice..let me see if I can give you a link.

    • Nimmy
    • October 18th, 2008

    @Kislay..yeah..the number was too too too huge and that was what made me write this post..3.5 crores..Does anybody know what crore means???God save India..

    @IHM..ok..I think i mixed up between being feminist and imitating..I hate imitating and by your defenition,i qualify to be a feminist..I love being submissive but I hate oppression.

  12. @IHM
    Thank you . Even if feminism was synonymous to men-bashing , I would rather be one and bash myself and my kind , than be a male-chauvinist-pig . 🙂 Two wrongs don’t make a right , but it does make it even . Women have been at the receiving end since ages , its high time they kicked some ass .

  13. Seconds to Indianhomemaker! Being feminist isn’t a question of whether you are a housewife or submissive, or working. It’s a question of whether you are doing it out of free choice rather than being forced into it.

    Nimmy, you ask how things will ever change. The answer is only through posts like this one, and actions like your story in #15. Keep it up, because you are doing far more good than the politicians will ever do.

    Regarding the surplus men, I’ve seen many accounts that say the biggest influence that moves terrorists to change their ways, is getting married.

    • Nimmy
    • October 20th, 2008

    Hi hi watercat…long time no see??? 🙂 Few days ago,i was wondering why my readers(friends) during intial days are not visitng my blog these days..I thought maybe you guys got bored..I am very happy for you visitng again..Thanks 🙂

    True,I agree with you..It is a matter of doing by will or being forced into it..I am against the latter,

    Lol..thanks..But i hope nobody kicks me..

    Regarding surplus men,most of them are a threat to peacefully living women..Maybe those men can join US world police-team and go fight wars all over the world..But 3.5 crores is not a small number**sigh**

    Keep coming 🙂

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