Invading the exposed privacy..

What did I say now?

Last evening,way back from my college,while in local bus,I saw a lady,a working lady , entering the bus and standing in a horizontal position,such that,some of her body parts,to be precise,her side view,was being watched over by looooot of men sitting and standing behind. some of them were laughing,some of the were staring and some of them grinning. I felt bad and ashamed.Why? I don’t know..Afterall,she is a fellow women.But there was nothing that I could do. Can I tell her ” Hello madam,please keep your body parts covered,people are raping you with their eyes”. I didn’t say that,because I had no wish to get a slap.

Today evening,incidentally,the very same bus,the very same time,the very same lady,the very same stop and very same saree and yes,very same side view,and finally,the very same looks when I turned back. I wanted to say something,but to whom? To the lady,to stand ‘properly’ ?Or to those men,to eyes their eyes closed? What if one of them took a photo and posted it in one of those infinite masala sites out there? Who is responsible? The lady ,for not taking care? Or the man, who just took a snap of what was publicly displayed in front of him?

I asked these questions to a dear and near one of mine.He/she said,” Obviously,the lady is not responsible”

Me :How? she was unaware.She just stood her own way.

He/she :Fine,it is her freedom of expression and the guy sitting in the back is exercising his freedom of expression.Do you have a problem with that?

Me : πŸ™„


Edited to add :Somebody tells me that this post is dumb and silly and is borne out of my boredom and lack of ability to post something good. I don’t think so.This is as issue I deal with,every day,every other moment.. I see guys looking at women’s here and there,while in class,while on road,while in bus,everywhere..So,how is this a dumb matter,well,it is not so atleast for me.

  1. Let it go…Thats what i will say.If they want to be a porn star by themselves , what can we do ???
    lol @ your friends reply..priceless :d :d

    few days back i saw a similar incident in adyar , chennai.Like entire bus passengers(even females) , pedestrians, road side vender’s who were staring at a foreign lady (do i need to mention where , how and all).I wish i had a camera that time to snap all those curious eye’s….

      • Nimmy
      • March 18th, 2010

      “if they want to be a porn star by themselves ”

      Not at all Anish..she is a typical middle classed working lady,maybe she isn’t aware,but others’s don’t care about her attitude..All they know is what they see…

  2. What happens in public ain’t private no more πŸ™‚ But taking a snap is wrong. That’s a representation of a private person without permission and can be illegal.

    But staring per se? In India? Are we surprised?

  3. Oh hoo !! Men dont need a reason to stare at woman ! Even if she was fully clothed, they wouldve (in your words) raped her with their eyes ! But no, your friend is absolutely wrong. You take your own obscene snaps and make it public- thats freedom of his/her expression; but you do a similar act with others snaps, then you are a psychopath on the loose !

    but IMHO, you shouldve told the lady. So what if she snubs at you; you could have atleast felt relieved inside for doing the right thing.

    • Swaram
    • March 19th, 2010

    Its sad to see how many forms freedom of expression has been taking in our country 😦

  4. weird situation… but men will always ogle, doesn’t matter what a woman is wearing. And its not limited to India only. Seen it in US as well.

  5. Maybe you could have politely told her that a part of her body was visible and that men are staring. Just FYI types. What she does after that is her problem.

  6. I think you need not bother abt ppl looking at her. But taking a snap and making it public is against law and will be punished. If somebody did that you should inform the lady.

  7. I put it this way.. I am travelling alone by train and am carrying a lotta money in my suitcase and every now and then i flash my loot to people.
    then some goons come and slit my throat for the money, who’s responsible? certainly not me, it’s not against my rights in carrying money, but at the end of the day, i lose…
    The woman wasn’t born yesterday, she may be liking all the attention, for all we know….

  8. Umm I also cant decide what you should have done 😦

  9. its a dilemma 😦 😦

  10. I am not sure what i owuld have done… 😐
    But, taking a photo is wrong….
    and men need to control their urges or whatever! Why is it so hard? maybe its their upbringing or all the trash that’s shown on TV… or the fact that women in their homes are treating with little or no respect… sigh! Sad really

  11. What would i have done in similiar situation…well would try to hint at the woman….the public should have caught the person taking the picture…

    on a lighter side, a woman was wondering why this man looking at me like this..she said, let him be born as a woman and me as a man in my next life…then wondered whether in my last life, am i a man?

    • Nimmy
    • March 22nd, 2010

    @ Vimuu, “but you do a similar act with others snaps, then you are a psychopath on the loose !” Lately,i read a report that taking and spreading porn is not just about having pyshic issues,but is rather a criminal mindset ,which does the act inspired by the potential income generated out of it. Have you read reports on school boys copying porn to his mobile,exhibiting it to his friends at school,at 2 rupee per head… Have you read on people who are appointed as agents to capture images from toilets and bedrooms in hotels? The are not pychopaths.They do it as business.. Unfortunately,in most cases,we just let off such cases as mental issues,and don’t deal with the real aspect-criminology and business behind it..

    @Swaram..True dear..

    @Munish,welcome here πŸ™‚ I agree,its global phenomenon,as its a global business.OOgling is ok,but beyond that…

    @Masood..You are right..As Vimu said,if i had done that i would atleast felt peace of mind that i did my part..

    @Charakan πŸ™‚ Yes,that was what i thought..But then,people may be looking at me too (even though i am not at all pretty)and that irritates,i thought this way-if i spoke for her,maybe when my turn comes,somebody will come to my help…

    @Banarjee πŸ™‚ You said it..Its not about right or freedom,but who lose and win..

    @Reema ,Kanagu πŸ™‚

    @Pixie,true..But men have a reason “I look bcoz she shows me”

    @Sunder,hi πŸ™‚ Good point made..

    Good day to all..Thanks a ton for coming..

  12. I wouldn’t bother about men staring (such men stare at every female, no matter what shows or doesn’t show), but if somebody had attempted to take a picture, I think I would have asked him very loudly what he thought he was doing.

    • Uzza
    • March 27th, 2010

    We say children are immature because they can’t control their urges, and when they act in ways that are disrespectful of others they need to be corrected. They is no magic age at which this stops being true.

  13. We say children are immature because they can’t control their urges, and when they act in ways that are disrespectful of others they need to be corrected. They is no magic age at which this stops being true.

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