Posts Tagged ‘ indian women ’

..Of girls’s education and marrying off them early….

My college reopened today. One of my friends randomly made a comment “Why don’t you sit at home and look after your husband and kid”.. Err…

Then I remembered this person I mentioned in my below post…Now I  have a feeling that theer not just few,but many people out there who strongly belive that girls needn’t study and that their life is meant for 2-3 purposes alone..**sigh**

A post very close to my heart…

————-

This post is purely fictional and bears no resemblence with any characters dead or alive..

Last day,somebody told me so and so…

A: Girls should be married off by the age of 18-19..

Me:Err,isn’t that too early ..

A:Early? not at all..Bcoz by 20+,they will start making their own choices and will have own opinions

Me :So?

A: So? So ,parents should marry off girls before they start having firm opinions and start making decisions for themselves

Me :But isn’t it their life? Moroever,when we marry off them too early,how can they complete their eductaion?How can they have their career?

A: Ha,what is the need for girls to have so much education.The role of women in a society to make a good family and bring up kids in a good way .

Me :Of course that too is important,but it amazes me that a 21st century human being is saying that girls needn’t have much education..

A:All this ‘men-women equality and stuff is bullshit. Women cannot be equal to men.

Me:I never said that they are equal..Both are different on their own ways,but that doens’t mean that they weigh different in the balance of nature

A:Let me tell you an eg. Last day,there was an accident nearby,when a lady bumped into a sccooter-wala and he died..The lady was admitted to mental hospital for weeks..Have you ever heard of a man being mentally unstable just because he met with an accident?you women are silly and emotionally weak ,and let me remind you,they are physically weak since ages..

Me :You are generalizing,thatz not fair..

A:Ok,let me tell you something.What if I sent my daughter to study medicine.Obviously,by the time she passes out,she will be 24 yrs and so,and she will not accept proposals from any men on a lower grade than doctors themselves.

Me :whatz wrong in that? Its fine that a Doctor is looking out for a Doctor..

A:Its ok with her,but not for me,as I have find Crores of money for her dowry.

Me :Look out for boys who don’t ask dowry.

A:Such people exist only in theory.In pracitise,all people ask for dowry,and when it comes to higher grade boys ,as like Doctors,they ask for loads of gold and money..So tell me,should I let my daughter become a doctor and finally spoil my life in the name of her dowry,or should i marry off her to an average man,at the age mentioned earlier,when she is not so firm in her choices and opinions..On another note,there is no need for lady doctors..

Me: **faints** What??”No need for lady doctors”..

A::Yes,tell me what is the problem if there are male doctors alone? Afterall women are weak enough not to enter areas like surgery and such complicated stuff..Tell me how many efficent female surgeons and anesthesists have you seen or heard?

Me: Well,are you saying that there needn’t be female gynecologists too?A:Thats the only area where women can empathize with fellow patients..But even in that field,there isn’t a compulsory need. Labour and Cecarian will be fine in men’s hands too

Me : **girns** not knowing what to say..

A: coming back to the topic,i still stand by what i said,” Girls needn’t study much and should be married off early”..

Me :Err,this is complicated..But it is wrong that you dump her into somebody’s head even when she is immature to undertstand right and wrong in life..Moreover,if she is educated,if some problee happens in marriage life,she can stand in her own,instead of running back and crying in front of parents.

A:You are wrong.In real time,it is the educated girls who come back to families,while the other end girls move on with their life,rather than shouting for divorce and such.

Me :So,in the end,it is your happiness and not your daughter’s happiness that matters.. Ok fine,marry off your girl at 18,so that she will always be unable to resist the injustice that may happen and let her be a door mat..**sigh**

A::You are wrong,good girls will find happiness where they go..You women don’t know the world outside and hence you are making theoritical stmnts

Me : “How will we know the world and gain experience if you guys don’t let us? ”

A :”Oh,you alone is going to change the world”..

Me: ” Not really,but if i do my part, atleast my daughter will benefit from it”…

A : “Oh,so you want your daughter to become a feminist kinda girl and ruin her life” …

Me : I am glad I met you ..goodbye..

.

.

Moral of the story : Don’t argue with people who have pre-conceived notions..You will end up being labelled arrogant and outspoken…

p.s “Please do not criticize the person and say anything bad about her/him,as I don’t intend to hurt the person..But her/his thoughts are surely worth discussion,aren’t they?

..not all sane people are dead..

STATEMENT BY CONCERNED CITIZENS

 

  •  1.We, the under signed, are shocked at the Jamiat Ulema-e-Hind (M group) unprovoked move to revive the Vande Matram controversy now. It is a well-known fact that the debate on Vande Mataram was settled way back in 1930s with the consent of the then leadership of the Jamiat. It was then agreed upon that the controversial parts of the Vande Matram would not be recited. The practice continues. We neither believe that the Vande Mataram is a test case of some one’s patriotism. Nor do we agree with the Jamiat interpretation that reciting the song would endanger one’s faith. Therefore, we strongly condemn the Jamiat move to unnecessarily provoke a controversy around Vande Mataram at this juncture. The Jamiat move has only strengthened the Hindutva forces, which have been in disarray since the last parliamentary election. We also condemn the Hindu right wing forces’ attempt to impose its recitation on citizens to prove one’s patriotism.
  •  2.We are further shocked with the Jamiat attitude towards girls’ education. The Jamiat wants to “establish non-residential modern educational institutions for girls education” with “specially carved out syllabus which should be completed within six years.” The Jamiat further demands: “On completion of 10 years of age, complete shariat norms should be observed while continuing their education.” It is a retrogressive move not only to isolate girls from the mainstream of the national education but also to keep them confined in a secluded sectarian atmosphere. It is shocking to demand shariat norms in education for girls or for any segment of society in a secular state. We condemn this anti women move in the strongest possible manner and demand that such moves must be checked in time.
  •  3.The Jamiat though encourages Muslims to take to modern education but it advises the young Muslim students not to take admissions in government or non-government schools because in such institutions Muslims students “get isolated and sometimes unaware about their Islamic values. We see this move as an indirect attempt to keep Muslims boys away from the mainstream education, which is exactly what Hindutva forces want. It will not only keep the community backwards but would discourage Muslims from taking to education for the fear of unnecessarily loosing “Islamic values”. We, therefore, condemn it in the strongest manner and appeal the Muslims not to heed to such ill-advised moves.
  •  4.The Jamiat has also come out strongly against the Central government move to standardize modern education syllabus through establishing a madarsa board. The move, as practiced in nine other states, will open a window for madarsa students to the modern education. It will also streamline and standardize teachers’ salaries within madras’s. We support the government move in this regard and appeal the Muslim clergy to accept it in the larger interest of the community, madarsa students and madarsa teachers most of whom are presently very lowly paid.
  •  5.A widespread debate on the women reservation bill is going inside and outside the parliament. There is a divide on this issue among various political parties. But the Jamiat move to oppose the Women Reservation Bill on the ground that it is a ‘desparate attempt to bring women into the mainstream’ and that ‘this will create various other social problems including their insecurity’ is highly objectionable. We strongly condemn it because it is another move to keep the Muslim women backward.

God bless them…

p.s : Thanks IHM..

Info Courtesy- http://communalism.blogspot.com/2009/11/india-concerned-citizens-statement-in.html

Image Courtesy : http://copland.udel.edu/stu-org/msaud/gallery/salah/slides/117_Indian-Muslims-praying-.jpg

Yeah,again a post on women’s attire

Blogosphere is reloaded with posts on “women’s dresses and individual liberty”..IHM has a great post here,Alankrita has a great one here,read Amrutha’s thoughts here..I have had infinite posts on this very same topic, but [please don’t throw stones at me] ,am I yet to make up my mind on this ?. My thought is simple “ If men can’t control themselves.why not I myself take care,as it is my life and my safety”..Ok,ok,I know that even purdah cladded women aren’t free from all this.But still,when in a group,is it not wise to dress as to go along with it rather than trying to stand out.Yes,everybody has individual choices and people may like to draw attention,and yes,I know that even then,”She asked for it” doesn’t hold true. That said,given that we know that there are perverts around us,why should we take the risk of drawing attention?

Yes,I know that modestly is relative and that wearing purdah won’t make you safe. But thatz not my point.When is a beach, a sari or lehanga will attract most eyes,whereas a swimsuit or bikini worn women may go unnoticed (depending on the level of decency of people around) Likewise,when in an office, a sari-nari will go unnoticed whereas a sleeveless-top lady will make many men smile. Ok,now you are asking me “Why should I sacrifice my comfort for the sake of others modesty/immodesty benchmark?” True,but why do we want to attract unwanted attention? Now you are going to tell me “What if all women wore sari/purdah/salwar? ” Oh well,perverts are going to find some reason no matter what,but atleast we  tried our part..Now don’t blame me that I am champion of “Blame the victim philosophy”.No,I am not,but I personally would take care to dress ‘along with the group’ and would advise the same to my baby girl so that very few eyes would fall on me…

I don’t know how true is it that men are turned on visually (I always wonder why men claim this as something to be proud of ..duh..) .There is no logic included in all this stuff..What describes a man’s attitude of raping a baby or a 70 yr old grandma..What is there in them that turns them on?But still they do it.As said many times earlier,rape and other molestations is not about sex,about about control and desire,desire to own,atleast for a moment. So I would like to live in a way that would make least (nil except my partner preffered) people would look out for me.So,does that me that I am going to live shut in a dark room? No,I want a life,but I am afraid of those men and women out there in the light,them who are sickos.. Can I claim my individual liberty,dress,walk and talk they way I want to and move around?.But can I do about and stop those sickos.. ? What do I do then?Until and unless we have a more secure social attitude towards women,I am not going to talk against such acts  like that in Kanpur ,especially because it deals with yound girls who are yet to perceive the truth of evil world…And all this doesn’t mean that I look down at those bold women who have it in them to choose their way of living,and be happy about it.But I will be put down by my dear’s pointing fingers that “You asked for it”..So I am not for all this liberal and individualistic way of life….

It’s a bad bad world out there  😦

p.s: My bad that I googled “Why should women dress modestly?”..I am more confused/irritated now….

Why to dress modestly for lasting relationshp and marriage