Blogosphere is reloaded with posts on “women’s dresses and individual liberty”..IHM has a great post here,Alankrita has a great one here,read Amrutha’s thoughts here..I have had infinite posts on this very same topic, but [please don’t throw stones at me] ,am I yet to make up my mind on this ?. My thought is simple “ If men can’t control themselves.why not I myself take care,as it is my life and my safety”..Ok,ok,I know that even purdah cladded women aren’t free from all this.But still,when in a group,is it not wise to dress as to go along with it rather than trying to stand out.Yes,everybody has individual choices and people may like to draw attention,and yes,I know that even then,”She asked for it” doesn’t hold true. That said,given that we know that there are perverts around us,why should we take the risk of drawing attention?
Yes,I know that modestly is relative and that wearing purdah won’t make you safe. But thatz not my point.When is a beach, a sari or lehanga will attract most eyes,whereas a swimsuit or bikini worn women may go unnoticed (depending on the level of decency of people around) Likewise,when in an office, a sari-nari will go unnoticed whereas a sleeveless-top lady will make many men smile. Ok,now you are asking me “Why should I sacrifice my comfort for the sake of others modesty/immodesty benchmark?” True,but why do we want to attract unwanted attention? Now you are going to tell me “What if all women wore sari/purdah/salwar? ” Oh well,perverts are going to find some reason no matter what,but atleast we tried our part..Now don’t blame me that I am champion of “Blame the victim philosophy”.No,I am not,but I personally would take care to dress ‘along with the group’ and would advise the same to my baby girl so that very few eyes would fall on me…
I don’t know how true is it that men are turned on visually (I always wonder why men claim this as something to be proud of ..duh..) .There is no logic included in all this stuff..What describes a man’s attitude of raping a baby or a 70 yr old grandma..What is there in them that turns them on?But still they do it.As said many times earlier,rape and other molestations is not about sex,about about control and desire,desire to own,atleast for a moment. So I would like to live in a way that would make least (nil except my partner preffered) people would look out for me.So,does that me that I am going to live shut in a dark room? No,I want a life,but I am afraid of those men and women out there in the light,them who are sickos.. Can I claim my individual liberty,dress,walk and talk they way I want to and move around?.But can I do about and stop those sickos.. ? What do I do then?Until and unless we have a more secure social attitude towards women,I am not going to talk against such acts like that in Kanpur ,especially because it deals with yound girls who are yet to perceive the truth of evil world…And all this doesn’t mean that I look down at those bold women who have it in them to choose their way of living,and be happy about it.But I will be put down by my dear’s pointing fingers that “You asked for it”..So I am not for all this liberal and individualistic way of life….
It’s a bad bad world out there 😦
p.s: My bad that I googled “Why should women dress modestly?”..I am more confused/irritated now….