Posts Tagged ‘ psychology ’

Holding hands..for a lifetime.

A re-post..This earlier post of mine is the most read,search engine queried one till date..I am glad more n more people are trying to hold hands ūüôā

 

“The spaces between your fingers were created so that another’s could fill them in”.This quote had always remained my favorite.Ever wondered about the depth of message they convey!

 

To hold someone’s hand is to offer them affection,protection or comfort.It is a way to communicate and telling them silently “I am here,with you..”Holding hands remains a sign of intimacy between friends and lovers,couples and family,keeping two people together as they navigate the world around them.People hold hands for several reasons such as; a gesture of friendship ,or of love;acknowledgment of one’s presence or as sign of respect as in a handshake;a part of religious service or ritual;to enjoy physical contact;for emotional support;to guide ,as with a child , a blind person ,or an elderly;to urge someone to follow,to dance and on many more instances..

 

The symbolic meaning of holding hands varies for different cultures and gender. A personal relationship that does not involve any sexual behavior, e.g. friendship, may also involve physical intimacy.  In western culture it is often more among female than among male friends; the latter may want to avoid associations with  homosexuality. In other cultures, such as Arab culture, men may hold hands with no implication of homosexuality.Many East Asian cultures typically encourage relatively little body contact between friends, acquaintances, and members of the same sex. Even among family members and spouses, traditionally, there are fewer public displays of affection.

 

A man and a woman who are friends may avoid physical intimacy to avoid associations with sexuality or emotional intimacy, in order not to appear to be in a relationship. This is especially true if one or both of them is already in a relationship with another person.

 

Physical closeness may also be involuntary, as in a crowded train or elevator.Every touch is not with sexual intention.I wonder why some people seem to view the world only through their own glasses.That’s gross.

 

Hand holding depends on the relationship established with the person whose hand is being held and their willingness to accept the intended gesture based upon their understanding of its origin and significance.Some people are more into public displays of affection than others,as some avoid much touching in public and will avoid it for their own reasons,even if they are quite intimate and loving in private.Sometimes,holding hands can be an aggressive gesture of sign of control or dominance in a relationship.If a man grabs a woman’s hands and drags her along behind him,this may not be a much of gesture of closeness,but a gesture of dominance..

 

To add,the dream interpretation of ‘holding hands’ is given as “Holding hands or other positive interaction with hands can represent good will or affection that you feel towards someone, that you believe someone feels towards you, or you wish you were receiving.”

 

Nonsexual touch and other signs of affection strengthens your marriage relationships,creating a comforting and calming atmosphere in your home,builds more trust between the two of you,and deepens your intimacy with one another.A research of 16 marrried woemn who scored high on marriage-satisfaction inventory showed that simply holding their husband’s hand eased both physical sign of stress and their brain’s responses to pain.For all these reasons,I love to hold my husband’s hands when we go outside.I feel a feel of security and comfort.(but I think he is bit embarassed about it).Holding your parents hands when they are in stress will do wonders on relieving their stress.Hold your sister’s or brother’s hands when you cross road,see them smile at you¬†lovingly and read their eyes telling you “Thank you for being there”.During college days,I had many many friends whom I could hold hands and could lean upon their shoulders and take a deep breath to hear their heart’s wishper “I am here for you Nimmy”..Those moments are treasured deep inside my heart and nothing on earth and heaven above can take its place..

 

When was it the last time you held you dear ones hands and said silently “I care for you,and I am here for you no matter what”.Time will not wait for me and you.Before you lose your loved ones,tell them how much they mean to you and make yours and theirs day a wonderful one.Good luck!!

 

 

p.s :I didn’t take these pictures.I got it from internet,a few months ago and saved it randomly,forgetting to save the source.I cannot link to it since the source is not available now,even after hours of search..I apologize to the creator for not acknowledging your work..Thanks and sorry..

Biting nails;Biting fungus and dirt!

How many of you bite your nails? Sadly I am an occasional nail-biter.. eeeww,what a name,‚ÄĚnail-biter‚ÄĚ. Though not an addict, I am aware of myself having such a disgusting habit. I have seen many people biting nails religiously, with all concentration and content. Just thought of digging more into it and have a random post!

 

Nail biting also known clinically as chronic onychophagia, is a compulsive habit of biting ones fingernails or toenails during periods of nervousness, stress, hunger or even boredom. It can also be a sign of a mental or emotional disorder Nail biting is usually described as a common stress-relieving habit. Nail biting is more common in boys. 

 

 

Nail biting is a common habit that starts from an early age. It occurs in all ages, but the most common age for starting is early teens. Statistic’s show that 28% to 33% of children aged 7-10 years old, 44% of adolescents, 19% to 29% of young adults and 5% of older adults bite their nails. It is most common in boys . The side affects are unattractive and can cause embarrassment, bad grooming, unattractive hands or feet, sores and redness around the area of the nail. In more extreme cases the sufferer would be prone to get mouth infections from bacteria or germs under the nail being transferred from the nail to the mouth, or oral disease’s being transferred into the broken skin around the area of the nail causing infection and swelling.

 

Nail biting according to behavioral psychologists is an operant conditioned habit. This would be a behavior that the person can physically control. As all behavior‚Äôs are learned they can be unlearned. Stress is believed to be the culprit in common anxiety outlets. But some researchers believe there’s a genetic component involved, while others claim the habits are learned. Nail biting and hair pulling may trigger calming sensors in the nervous system. Such activities may look painful to an outsider, but children can feel a sense of relief in response to internal nervous-system turmoil.

 

Devoted nail biters can achieve top grades, have satisfying friendships and happily continue their habit into adulthood with no serious consequences other than cosmetic appearance. Parents should consider professional help when a repetitive, self-destructive behavior begins to interfere with normal functioning

 

  

While normally the activity of nail biting would be considered harmless to a person’s health, there are many things that go along with nail biting that can make it a very serious problem. Inflammation of the tissues adjacent to the nail, that is usually accompanied with infection that may cause pus to occur.  Many people who get this type of infection must have surgery to correct the problem. Severe nail biting makes the roots of the teeth in 13-15 year olds shorter due to excess pressure, and also such problems as bleeding cuticles and red, irritated skin.

 

  • “Don’t nag”. This is the first step in dealing with children who display anxious habits such as hair twirling, nail biting or knuckle cracking. A better choice is to offer incentives for stopping or to teach the child an alternative behavior
  • A popular method to stop nail-biting is the Nail File Technique: Buy 50 cheap nail files and scatter them everywhere you work and play. When a rough edge begins to bother you, grab a file and sand the nail smooth. People rarely bite or pick at nails with smooth edges
  • ¬†The best way I know to stop nail-biting, however, is to grow nails and keep them beautiful. It worked for me!
  • Also,everytime you get nails into your mouth,remember that you are gulping tons of fungus,virus,bacteria and what not..***faints***