Posts Tagged ‘ polygamy ’

My Favorite Posts ..

Hi all,I just wanted to list out my favorite posts, just in case anybody would find them interesting and useful.Do go through them when you get time and keep sharing your thoughts .

Eazy Cooking!!

  1. Its a Pizza-a stove-top Pizza!!
  2. Tapiki ‘n’ Fish curry-the official food of kerala???
  3. Roll it all the way into your mouth!!
  4. Moringa/Drumstick Fry
  5. Fish Thoran
  6. Quick Vegetable Biryani
  7. “Pizza Dosa” or “Dosa Pizza”??
  8. Date ‘n’ Choco Fudge in 10 minutes
  9. Sprouted Green Gram/Cherupayar Thoran


  1. “Why do muslim women have to beg for their rights?”
  2. Do feminists ruin families?
  3. Why/why not should women dress modestly/provocatively?
  4. How easy is it to undergo a divorce?
  5. Feminism Tag..but Am I a feminist?
  6. How do we program the baby machine to output baby boys alone?
  7. How important is it for you,to remain faithful in your marriage?
  8. Winning the war-through women..
  9. How do I make his beard catch fire?
  10. Why are women enemies to each other?

Islamic Thoughts

  1. “No time to complain, time to be wise”
  2. “Slay all infidels”..Wow,is Quran so violent???
  3. “How do you, as Muslim, see me and others like me in the light of the teachings of the Qur’an?”
  4. War ethics ‘n’ rules in Islam..
  5. Am I,as a muslim,responsible for the acts of others muslims who interpret Quran wrongly & move around with bombs?
  6. The drama of divorce over phone,email and SMS..
  7. One Quran,but infinite interpretations..WHY?
  8. Living Ramdan,the Islamic way..
  9. “Muhammad was a pedophile..”
  10. Quran asks men to beat their wife!!
  11. Is this what Islamic polygamy is all about?
  12. Muslims hate Jews??????????
  13. Remembering Prophet Muhammad (and his multiple wives) on his birthday
  14. Stoning to death-How and Why is it a part of Islam?
  15. Fatwa Drama-Behind the curtain..
  16. Worship in space!

World Around

  1. Pragmatics between moral police and one’s freedom of expression
  2. Why does Government push Hajj subsidy down the throats of Indian muslims?
  3. Migrant issues – Qatar and Maharashtra,a comparison.
  4. History of Israel-Palestein conflict -as and how lightly my small brain process it.
  5. What went wrong with Pakistan as a nation?
  6. Why isn’t this ‘terrorism’, but just ‘communal-issues’?
  7. The unholy secrets and not-so-divine divinity of the church..
  8. Who decides the fine line between absolute and relative freedom of expression?
  9. What have you done so far,as to wipe out the menace of terrorism?

Random Rants

  1. Disclaimer..
  2. My lovely garden 😉
  3. Holding hands..for a lifetime.
  4. How do I control my anger before it controls me..
  5. Smile Pinki.. bringing smile to thousands of kids with cleft lips..
  6. Tagged – Soft,Melodious and Soulful songs..
  7. Tag-on various bits of my life…


  1. The Weight Of The Human Soul
  2. Will your body decay if you RIP while in outer space?
  3. How much water would it take to extinguish the sun?
  4. “Diamond is forever”…Oh no…Its NOT…
  5. Biting nails;Biting fungus and dirt!
  6. Rate your fear of intimacy
  7. How do blind people dream?

Good day to all..

Proposed Kerala Muslim Marriage bill-A great step towards a noble cause

In a progressive and bold step towards the reform of Muslim Personal Law, the Kerala Law Reforms Commission has drafted a bill which will curb and check the practices of polygamy and divorce through Talaq among Muslims in the state.



Essentially neither is it a bill with radical stand nor is it revolutionary in terms of its features. In fact almost all of its features are there in the Shariah law. For instance it doesn’t ban polygamy nor does it ban the concept of talaq among Muslims. The only thing that it does that it tries to regulate the indiscreet marriages and divorces in the community.



One has to understand that the legal issues related to Muslim personal laws like that of divorce, marriage, inheritance are usually dealt with by the respective Shariah bodies. There is no mechanism in Shariah framework (as it is being practically implemented in India) where the people who violate the Shariah laws are held accountable to their misdeeds and punitive measures are applied to them.So if a person remarries or misuses the provision of talaq he can and in most of the cases, he does easily get away with this because there is no effective mechanism in the existing Shariah based Muslim Personal Law Board which could ensure that he is punished as per the existing punitive measures available in the Shariah.



The Indian Constitution doesn’t provide the organizations like Muslim Personal Law Board (who claim to have the exclusive rights of representation of personal law related issues of Indian Muslims) legal legitimacy. So this Bill seeks to address the implementation of the punitive aspect in the cases of all the discreet remarriage and divorces



The draft Bill titled “The Kerala Muslim Marriage and Dissolution by Talaq (Regulation) Bill” seeks to legislate that ‘monogamy shall be the rule’ and that ‘marrying again during the lifetime of husband or wife is an offence.’ However, the proposed Bill provides for remarriage by husband in exceptional cases “with the (wife’s) consent in writing before a notary public or a judicial officer expressing her consent to the second marriage and briefly giving her reasons for the consent.”



The Law Reforms Commission’s proposed law aims to “declare that, among the Muslims in Kerala, monogamy is the general rule and polygamy a just exception, permissible only in socially exceptional circumstances and that also subject to compassionate conditions, and to provide further that divorce by talaq can be effected only subject to special conditions.” It wants that “if any married Muslim, man or woman, marries again during the subsistence of the first marriage, the party who violates shall be guilty of bigamy under the Indian Penal Code and punishable as such.”



The proposed law makes it mandatory that all Muslim marriages and divorces be registered with the local registrar of marriages. The most important provision in the proposed law is the constitution of a ‘conciliation council,’ to be set up in each district, to regulate Muslim remarriages and divorces. The council, to be set up by the State government, will have a retired district judge or magistrate from the Muslim community as its head.



The man, permitted to take a second wife, “shall be liable to provide reasonable accommodation and privacy as well as just alimony or maintenance sufficient for the wife to sustain herself in reasonable comfort.”The proposed law also says that marriage of Muslim shall be contract. It also says that “the female spouse shall be entitled to divorce only through court or with the approval of the conciliation council on grounds of irretrievable breakdown irreparable by conciliation



It has sought a variety of responses from the Muslim community be it the common masses or its intellectual class. Moreover it has created a debate in the community to ponder over the effects of polygamy and talaq on the community.



The bill has sought positive responses almost from all the women’s activists across the religious, political and ideological divides. They have been pitching for the bill and mobilizing forces to pressurize the government to legislate the bill.



According to Febeena Seethi, the president of Kerala Women’s Front, polygamy is a double edged sword in the sense that it can be useful but it can also be a way to exploit women. Usually it becomes a way of exploitation of women where their lives are made miserable because of it. “There should be a women and a religious scholar in the conciliation councils.” She explained that the representation of women and a religious scholar is very important. The religious scholar will help in avoiding any kind of controversy and the woman member will .



A big section of all the people who support the Bill feel that it is high time that reform must happen in the Muslim Shariah law or Muslim Personal Law. So their support of the bill can be seen as motivated by an effort to bring about some kind of balance between the Shariah laws and changed circumstances of the modern times. Likewise Dr. Feebina also expressed an urgent need for the reforms in the Muslim Personal Laws.Finally she pointed out that it has been experienced that legislations alone have never been sufficient to control some practice or any person. For instance – dowry. Since the first legislation on Dowry many more laws have been made but only to increase the number of dowry cases.



The misuse of Talaq and polygamy can only be stopped with a change in the attitude of men and for this we need a war like campaigning against the both practices by every medium and every suitable platform. Dr. Seethi also pointed out that almost every woman’s organization has supported the bill.As far as most of the Muslim organizations are concerned they favor the bill in some cases with few suggestions and concerns to be addressed and included in the bill. So to a large extent there is no opposition to the Bill, in fact he went on to the extent of saying people have hardly opposed the bill on religious grounds at least. The reason is that today most of the progressive organizations want the reform in the Shariah Laws.


There hasn’t been any strong opposition to the bill as such except by few orthodox Muslim organizations like Samastha Kerala Jamiatul Ulama and Kerala Jamiatul Ulama. Both these organizations are completely rejecting the Bill. They have termed it as interference in the Shariah Laws by the secular Indian law.But their opposition also is complicated by the fact that their office bearers and some leaders have supported the Bill individually. In their religious lectures these people have accepted the problems created by the polygamy and expressed the need for the law to check those problems as pointed out by Mr. M Ebrahim of the Madhyamam daily.



As far as the coverage of this issue by the mainstream media in Kerala is concerned, Mr. Shareef refers to a very dangerous precedent; which is to sensationalize and controversialize every issue related to Muslims even if the issue is very simple.


So in spite of the fact there hasn’t been a strong opposition to the Bill by the Muslims in the state except few orthodox organization, instead of highlighting the moderate voices media is trying to pick up the few voices of opposition to the Bill and portray the whole community as backward and non-progressive.



People in the Sunni Cultural Centre pointed out that the main reason for the opposition by A.P. Aboobaker Musliar (yeah,the same old guy whom we discussed here) is the fact that for them the bill seems to be an attempt to encroach and “interfere” in the area which otherwise has been the exclusive domain of the Muslim religious bodies like All India Muslim Personal Law Board.They accept that there should be reforms in the Shariah laws but that reform should be initiated from within the Shariah law and by people in who are expert in the Shariah laws: because they want the reforms to be essentially within the framework of Islamic Shariah.



A very interesting answer to the argument of the Shariah bodies lies in the fact that in several Muslim countries triple talaq has been banned or restricted.



And what the Muslim women’s rights and progressive sections of the community like Dr. Feebina Seethi say is that the Muslim bodies on the Shariah laws have been hearing the calls for reforms since a very long time but they haven’t yet come up with any kinds of plan and strategy for the reforms in the Shariah laws which is actually one of the most important demands of the modern times.So when there is no hope of reform from within the clergy fraternity then the bill represents a saner and sensible attempt to bring about that reform.








I didn’t write this article..I just gathered information from different sources,from links provided.All I intend is to spread the word..Thanks for reading and Good day to o all..


“He is a wise man today if he has learned from yesterday’s posts/mistakes..”

My last post was a haste ‘n’ waste one .But there were lot of thoughful commenst,so I just wanted to bring your attention to a few of them..Some thoughts on ‘the moral of the story”.




Eccentric says:


When ever some one (specially any religious leader) tell some thing about islam ask him to give u source from Quran only. if its written in Quran then its ok……….but if not then its man made laws not God’s.


Exactly..I wish everybody-every muslim and non muslim-takes this approach of asking the concerned person to quote Quran verse backing his claim/statement.If we do that,I am sure,in very short time,people like this will stop themselves from making random rants to appear as Islamic..The same goes for stuff like Triple Talaq which have no base in Quran or Hadith..Its all man made women oppressive laws..


Kislay Chandra says :


Nimmy , Ruchjat says that “in the society the number of women are more than men” , and you didn’t gave a reply befitting that . Where the hell in this country except Kerala are there more women than men . I would like to know of such a society , and would do every damn thing to get there , cause the skewed up sex-ratio sometimes make me wonder whether I will get married or not . Not kidding . 7 crore surplus men , am I one of them ?


Kislay,according to UN reports,as per 2000,there are 115 countries with skewed sex ratios,where there are more number of females,than males..Only <50 or so countries have sex ratios with more males and there are few countries with almost equal number of males and females ..What would these single surplus women in those 115 countries do?I don’t know..

Indianhomemaker says:

Also Nimmy if women firmly insist on an empowering Nikahnama, like I have mentioned in the link below, they can protect themselves. If a man refuses to accept it, there is every chance that he wants to keep open, the option of marrying again.

IHM,unless we have a mandatory standardized pre nupital contract,it is not going to happen anyday as people would find it odd to start a relationship based on contract statements..Unless it becomes a way of life,not many will/can insit on it..


Milind Kher says:

A community that does not respect its women cannot prosper.

So true,so sad..

Manoj says:

Religion is one’s convenience. may be muslims are the only ones didn’t go through social reforms in india. inheritance on property, marriage act, adoption… there are many areas i suggest muslims should go through reforms.

 Your comment has lot of message within..Indian muslims have to come forward in lot of areas ,especially education..But I musy say that except for a marginal number,we are in harmony with the multicultural enviornment in our nation-I mean,in religious sense..I haven’t seen the ‘holier than thou’ attitude in majority of the community..To me,that makes more sense than reform needs in personal laws..


Maha says:

The man can have his own opinion, that’s his right; but he has NO RIGHT to make up reasons like that and then claim that they are part of Islam; when he does, it just shows that he is either ignorant, biased, follows his own desires or he is one of those وعاظ السلاطين

Sorry,I don’t understand what is it that you wrote in Arabic..Your comment may be the best of all..He has no right to portray his personal opinion as though from Allah…


And finally,


Salil says

Hi Nimmy,
As usual, my suggested response is ignore it.
One should not argue or react to stupid comments, for the sheer reason that logic fails in such situations.
Ignore it, get amused by it, laugh at it.

🙂 True..I should have just left it that way..But then again,after getting lot of comments, I feel that my rant was useful,well atleast to a handful, so that they would know that there is no such thing like this in Islam.


Thanks and Good day to all




How do I make his beard catch fire?

This is a waste post and if you are busy,please don’t waste your time reading this..


Yesterday,I watched a report on TV ,regarding muslim women’s condition-especially in northern kerala ,nicknamed as ‘Malabar’…To keep my holy rant short,I heard a ‘powerful Sunni cleric’ AP Kanthapuram Abubaker Musliyar ranting something very ‘interesting’..When asked by the journalist,regarding polygamy in Islam,my retina and ear drums blasted out watching his ignorance and arrogance parade..He says,men can do polygamy because women will be ‘out of service’ during 7-10 or even 15 days during a month and that is a very good reason for men to get another wife so that he needn’t go to a prostitute..What the hell…I pinched myself to make sure I was not dreaming.Then I looked into calender and made sure that time machine didn’t take me centuries back,in a matter of few minutes..It  was 5/11/08 and  10.15 pm and I am watching this’holy’ man’s rant in a worldwide telecasted news channel…What time has come oh Lord..


I pray his white long beard cathes fire and his turban is freezed to -423423 celsius and he be made to sit on hot plate with 32356 celsius temperature ,until he apologize to all women out  here for having made such an ‘holy’ comment..I wonder how many wives does he have and I wonder what will he do if all his wives get periods on same day..yuck yuck yuck.What is disgusting piece of creation Lord has made..Oh yeah,I am not a great person.But atleast I don’t vomit such crap.I am so angry .I know I am overreacting,but I can’t get over it until or unless I shout at him ths way..

Is this what Islamic polygamy is all about?

Can a poor Muslim man practice polyamy? Well, that isn’t a million dollar question. But looking around, I see that it is mainly poor people (especially from third world countries) who are into these types of relationships. I don’t mind how people choose to live, because it is their business, and not mine, as to dictate how they should live. But I hate it when they take the name of religion to justify what they do. Many Muslims shout at the top of their voice,” It’s my right to marry 4 wives”. Is that how Islam talks about polygamy? Marry 4 women, and move around producing tons of kids…Hell NO, This is not the essence of polygamy in Islam. [Having said this doesn’t imply that rich people can practice polygamy as they like.


Polygamy has been thought of a way of undermining woman’s emotions and identity, and it is ranked among the discrimination of human rights under Gender discrimination by most women organizations. But, polygamy surprisingly is practice by educated people, even high ranking officials in some of these third world countries. So uprooting such a cultural moral issue will take time, and more civil human rights bills to be passed internationally. Women have fallen victim of the man’s demands and have given in to the practice, fearing divorce, which is considered a weakness if a woman leaves the marriage on her own.


One would have expected that polygamous men should be financially stable and be able to cater for the needs of his wives and children but this notion has since changed as there are several reasons being attributed to polygamy. A local and typical African man may be polygamous so as to acquire more wealth through the use of his numerous wives and kids on his farms hence the more proceeds from the farm produce sold the more the man acquire wealth. Further researches conducted into why men of third world countries marry more than 1 wife is to boost their ego. In a typical local and traditional African setting for instance, more respect is given to men who have many wives and many children, they are respected for being very agile and virile and such men are considered as stronger than those who have just 1 wife.


When asked about stance on polygamy, amazingly, many Muslims (men and women too!) claim that “men have extra desires which a single woman alone can’t satisfy”. Fortunately or unfortunately, I didn’t find any biologically and scientifically evidence for this argument.Secondly, they argue that if the woman is ill or barren, it is better to take another wife, than committing forcination…Sadly, I have seen that for some people (both men and women) marriage is more of physical attahment than the emotional attachment it ought to be…I see marriage as a life long institution where man and woman share love,compassion,trust and many more virtues.Agreed that the urge for love making is natural.But we aren’t animals with no self-control.If a muslims justify taking more and more wives ‘for fear of committing forcination’ I must sadly say that you should not have issues with non-muslims who don’t have the RIGHT for polygamy,moving around and do all rapes and harassments,simply becasue they(men) can’t get satisfied by one wife. Where are we going?


A widely popular argument in favor of polygamy is that ‘there are more women than men”(Dr Zakir Naik is the main propagator of this argument) from my research, I find that in most societies (as of 2007), men are in excess.See link. Another argument for polygamy is that rather than let women lead sinful life it is better that one takes them as co-wives. It is not correct to say that prostitution is because of more women in society than men. Prostitution happens because of several other reasons like uneven distribution of wealth, migration of men to other countries or to urban areas in search of livelihood and extreme poverty in women’s families, loose morals and many more. By practicing poygamy, I don’t think we can eradicate, because it is a problem of different dimension.


 The Qur’an And Polygamy


Islam has emphasized that one can take a co-wife only if he satisfies the material and moral requirements. Preservation of cordiality, stability, and purity in the family life can be seen clearly in the Quranic doctrines as well as in the tradition of the prophet (pbuh).


Allah Almighty states in the Qur’an what means,


  • Marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one] (An-Nisaa’ 4:3)



The most common interpretation of this Qur’anic verse is that despite the clear indication that a man has the right to marry up to four wives; equity is a condition that has to be established. However, since equity is a condition that is almost impossible to achieve, the supposed polygamous right is obsolete. Indeed, polygamy is very restricted in the Quran, and it is the abuse of this supposed right by many men in different societies that gave it its bad reputation.



I am not discussing the verses as there are many online resources available in that regard. The main conditions related are 


  • First wife should not have an objection. One can’t ring the door bell and tell his wife”Hai honey, here is my new honey”
  •  Equal treatment for all wives. It is implied that he provided houses of equal status, and provide all material and moral needs.
  •  Finally, one should not take more than 4 wives. (This is most understood when read under the context of history or social conditions prevailing during the time when Quran was revealed)


I never think that Allah went wrong by allowing polygamy. Again in war times, when tens of thousands of men die leaving widows and orphans unattended, there is always a need of polygamy to help those ladies and save the whole society from a state of moral chaos, which would result from all these numbers of single women. But social and economical conditions vary from what it was then what it is now. Women should be given education and thus choice to live the way they wish to. It is not that men have RIGHT for polygamy. At the end of the day, no one can claim to own absolute truth or wisdom, and Allah Almighty will judge each human being (with mercy of course) based on their intentions and actions.



·        Polygamy is practiced in many societies and not among Muslims alone as it is usually perceived.

·       Polygamy in itself is not bad, but its abuse is worse. 



Read more

 Wife must first agree to polygamy, Indonesia court.